Does Pain Define You or Mold You?

During the last few weeks, I have had the privilege of walking through a dark season of the soul with one of our KeyStone Church families. If you have read my past blogs, then you know of the tragic event that happened to the Black Family.

One of the things that I have noticed about this family, is there is never an attitude of  “woe is me”, or “our life is over”.  Were there moments of tremendous grief and pain? Yes, like no other. But through this pain, they have resolved to effectively minister to people, even though they are hurting, and grieving. They are not letting this event define them, they are letting it mold them!

It lead me to this conclusion. We can either let past pain and wounds define us, or we can let it mold us.

This is what I mean. We probably all know of people who have let past pains define them, it has made them who they are, they can’t escape their past wounds and hurts for whatever reason, and they continually blame others for their current condition.  Or we may know of people who have let past pains mold them. They have learned how to forgive the ones who have hurt them, and have learned what God has wanted them to walk through in the midst of their pain. Therefore, they are not defined by their past hurts and wounds, they are merely made stronger; or molded into better men and women because of it.

I recently read an article about Bethany Hamilton, the young girl who was attacked by a shark while surfing. In this article, Bethany explains her ability to overcome fear by getting back in the water. As a matter of fact, she jumped back on her surf board 26 days after she had lost her left arm in the attack. She refused to let the past pain of the wound define her. It simply bolstered her resolve to be better, and not let fear rule her.


“It [the attack] taught me that I have the ability to overcome my fear in scary situations.”

Get back in the water! This is what many of us need to do. Bethany said she would never use the words, “Woe is me.” or “My life is over.” She simply let this pain mold her into a better athlete, woman, and believer.


Many of us have been floating around on a surfboard minding our own business, and for whatever reason, we have been attacked, without even seeing it coming.

Where are you in your journey? Can I just encourage you today, to not let your past define you, but rather let it mold you; into a stronger person, a stronger believer. We may not understand at the moment why certain things happen to us, but like the Black Family and Bethany, we can become better on the other side of the pain.

2 thoughts on “Does Pain Define You or Mold You?

  1. I love your comment…..Get back in the water. It has been a difficult process recovering from my loss of function to my arm. For nine months I could not move my fingers. Through it all, I told myself I couldn’t stop living. I praised God for his plans for my life. Wherever God leads me I will go. After all I have a story to tell about how Gid healed me…..Yes, I am learning to get back into the healing waters of life.

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